One of the things that's pretty much a certainty is that when you're designing your best life...you're going to be going against "conventional wisdom". So what do you do when the life you want to live isn't in conformity with what others THINK your life should look like?
One of the common themes that we found in designing our best life is that it requires you to go against the grain to maybe buck conventional wisdom and that can be nerve wracking. And so for all of you that feel like you're faced with going against the grain. Well, this episode is for you. Let's go.
Key Points Discussed
00:02:15] And I'll start with just everyone out there has got an agenda that they, other people want you to follow their agenda. And one of the ways that you. Kick that to the curb is turn off those voices. So like, you know, the. One of the things that I read a long time ago when I first started studying personal development, which was the idea of people will turn on the news at the end of the day.
00:06:04] Those days like that. No, that's not how the world works. It's not how the world works anymore. You have no guarantee of employment that you're going to stay with a company that you're even going to get the gold watch. Right. I mean, you know, you were just talking about some people that, you know, that have worked for company for 20, 30 years and all of a sudden, now they're getting laid off budgetary constraints.
[00:12:09] Everyone is zigging. We see everyone is zigging. This is how everyone that you know has been zigging, but it's time for you to zag. I want to just encourage you to lean in to that still small voice. Understand that, that, that internal guidance it's for your benefit and, and to lean into it and to not discount it just because everyone's going in a different direction.
[00:16:26] That's awesome. Be willing to go against the grain. I mean, that's really, I think that's my takeaway for everyone from this episode is we just want to encourage you. We want to empower you. We want you to know that you're not alone. Make sure that you get yourself a great support system. This is why we love the unstoppable influence academy.
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One of the common themes that we found in designing our best life is that it requires you to go against the grain to maybe buck conventional wisdom and that can be nerve wracking. And so for all of you that feel like you're faced with going against the grain. Well, this episode is for you. Let's go.
[00:00:26] Are you ready to get the clarity, confidence, and strategies? You need to design your best life. I'm Richard Hayzlett and I'm Natasha Hayzlett. If you're ready to experience abundance in all areas of your life, then you're in the right place each week on this podcast, we're going to share with you the tools.
[00:00:43] To help thousands of people find their purpose and live their life by design. We're ready to start the journey head over to design your best life.com and download your clarity roadmap. When this episode is over.
[00:00:57] Hey, everybody. Welcome to the design, your best life podcast. I'm Richard Hayzlett. This is episode 22. Today, we're going to be talking about the formula for designing your best life. It's how to have an exceptional experience in life, Natasha. So we start with following the herd, getting in alignment with conventional wisdom on all things.
[00:01:22] Go to school, get good grades. Get a good job work, there for 30 years. Maybe get a gold watch and retire. Take a vacation once a year for two weeks, all the things that make up a perfect life, watch the news every day,
[00:01:44] do it, whatever the crowd is doing. That is how you get the most exceptional experience in this life. Am I right? Can I just pick myself up on the floor? Oh my God. Obviously that was a little bit of a sarcasm or satire there. So we were just talking about all the things that make life great, and how basically none of those things are, are the recipe that w that we've found works.
[00:02:15] And I'll start with just everyone out there has got an agenda that they, other people want you to follow their agenda. And one of the ways that you. Kick that to the curb is turn off those voices. So like, you know, the. One of the things that I read a long time ago when I first started studying personal development, which was the idea of people will turn on the news at the end of the day.
[00:02:40] And they'll experience all these ups and downs, mostly downs of negativity, maybe one somewhat good story. And then negativity, there's a war. There's a famine. There's this there's that there's crime. There's all these things to be scared of. And then by the end of the time, you can't, you feel like you can't do anything about it.
[00:02:59] You're F you're tied up a notch, you feel terrible. And then you wait until Matlock comes on and I hope that'll take away. We are your feelings of disgust so that, you know, one of the things that I learned, the concept of just turn it. The news when, and you're going to have a much better existence where you're kind of just oblivious to the, all the nonsense.
[00:03:23] And it's interesting that like, this is something that I had people in my family that were real big. Like I'm watching the news every day at this, you know, five 30 or whatever. And. I tried to share that information with them. And they were like, no, that there's no way that, that it was almost like it was a duty to, to know what's going on.
[00:03:42] And I remember seeing when I worked at a, for a TaeKwonDo, a guy that was a master in TaeKwonDo back when I was younger, and somebody mentioned something about a big, huge story that was going on, everyone in the world was talking about this giant plane crash that happened. And he looked at him and just said, I don't watch the news.
[00:04:02] Like I was a young guy, so I was just thinking that was like the first like successful adult that I'd seen, like that was just like completely oblivious to what was going on in everyday, you know, muck and mire of the world. But, you know, he was living a great life and doing things, plugging along, just not tapping into that main line of fear.
[00:04:28] Um, fear is debilitating. I mean, we talked about this on the last episode, you know, busting through the fear barrier, but I think that it's also so being aware of that sources of fear and where they're coming from, and if it's not necessary for you to engage, then don't engage. And it also ties into. The concept of following conventional wisdom.
[00:04:55] And this is what we were talking about this morning. It was, you know, I remember my mom used to say Walnut, Tasha. If everyone wore a paper sack on their head, would you too? Or if everyone jumped off the class jumped off a bridge, was my families. Everyone jumped off a bridge. Right ours with paper sack on your head or jumped off of a cliff.
[00:05:18] Would you do it too? And I'm sure you all have had that wisdom in your family, but what's so interesting is how much we have been almost programmed to follow the herd, follow the conventional wisdom. And, you know, you started off the show today talking about, you know, all right. So what we're going to all do is we're going to all go to school, like to live your life by design, to have an exceptional life.
[00:05:48] What you need to do is go to school. Then you gotta go to college, right? You're absolutely right. You have to get a car and then you go and you get a job and you're gonna work there for like 47 years till you get the gold watch. And, you know, hopefully by this time when Richard's talking about this, you're like starting to laugh and realize it.
[00:06:04] Those days like that. No, that's not how the world works. It's not how the world works anymore. You have no guarantee of employment that you're going to stay with a company that you're even going to get the gold watch. Right. I mean, you know, you were just talking about some people that, you know, that have worked for company for 20, 30 years and all of a sudden, now they're getting laid off budgetary constraints.
[00:06:28] And so this concept. What has always been true is always going to be true. It may not be it's funny too, is it's not even that it's always been true. We, I remember having a discussion years ago about the concept of not having a job working for someone else. And it was seen as like some like revolutionary idea.
[00:06:53] And I pointed out, I said the whole notion of having a job working for someone else isn't even that old. I mean, if. 150 years, most people had their own farms and were raising their own food. And, you know, so it's kind of a, it's kind of a funny thing that we think, oh, well, you know, w w when, in actuality, in the history of mankind, it's not been that, like you go and work for a corporation, you know?
[00:07:18] I mean, it's just kinda funny. So, like we talked about last episode about choosing yourself, you know, it's definitely giving yourself the ability to rely on. Your own efforts and skills and talents and abilities to impact the world in a better way. And not just be just going along with, just because somebody says something, that's the way it's supposed to happen, you know?
[00:07:46] Critical thinking, like understanding that might be one perspective, but there's a different way of thinking. I mean, I know my parents were just in town and we had so much fun. I know you were having a conversation with my dad. I mean, you told me this, so I guess maybe you should be telling the story, but y'all were talking about how.
[00:08:06] When we got started in the entrepreneurial space, like my dad was understandably like nervous, right? Like, oh my gosh, like, is this a good idea? You've got two really great professional jobs. Like, what are you doing? And, you know, and he was commenting like how awesome it's been to watch us in this journey and realizing that like, we absolutely made the right decision, even though we were bucking convention.
[00:08:33] Wisdom you've got great jobs. They just don't screw it up. Right. Or, you know, a lot of people would look at what we were doing when we started building our base. No. Like, why are you working so hard? Like on the weekends, you should be out partying. Like, why aren't you going out? Like, you know what I'm saying?
[00:08:54] Like going out and doing XYZ, a lot of, you know, input from people like, like, I don't want to spend all my time in front of a computer or this, that, and the other thing, you know, but I mean, it's everything. That we've created for ourselves is definitely outside of the comfort zone, outside of the realm of like any way someone else would have drawn it up for us, you know, no one else would have said, oh yeah, do this and that.
[00:09:25] And then you'll and part of that, like I remember, you know, it wasn't just. Experience that was easy and didn't have any painful, you know, circumstances associated with. I mean, there were, there was a lot of long hours and doing things that were unusual to be able to get to a place where we were able to have this unique situation.
[00:09:49] And I remember years ago, reading and listening to. Great entrepreneur from Australia, Peter Daniels. And one of the things that he mentioned was that the level of. Success that you reach in life, it coincides with the level of your willingness to he, as he says pain. And you know, that's not real sugar coated.
[00:10:16] Like, you know, like, I don't know, like that doesn't sound like, you know, oh, it's going to be so magical or whatever. It's just basically he's laying it out. Like, look, you're gonna, it's going to be painful. And a lot of times people that. Maybe try something and then they don't get the result that they want immediately.
[00:10:36] And they just throw in the towel and it's maybe they were just as, as Ross Perot used to say, like people quit on the one yard line right before they're about to score a touchdown just a little bit too early. You got to, you know, sometimes you gotta go through that. You know, discomfort to get to where you're trying to, where you want to go and, you know, and it can be a lonely road, really.
[00:11:01] I mean, this is where surrounding yourself with like-minded people can be. So life-giving because, you know, especially when you're thinking outside the box, In business or in life, you're going against the grain. You're going against the conventional wisdom. Everyone is zigging and you have on your heart that it's time to zag.
[00:11:21] You are going to, depending on what it's about, like what's going on, you're going to probably bear some pain. You're going to have a lot of people that are going to say you're doing the wrong thing and they maybe. They're not trying to hurt your feelings. They're not trying to be unkind. They just don't understand, or their own fears are coming out.
[00:11:42] And they're trying to quote unquote, protect you and you just have to realize that's part of it. And when you get to the other side, You're going to be able to inspire so many people, you are going to be able to truly feel like you're living your life by design, because you've made that choice. If you have a still small voice telling you, you know what, it's time to zag.
[00:12:09] Everyone is zigging. We see everyone is zigging. This is how everyone that you know has been zigging, but it's time for you to zag. I want to just encourage you to lean in to that still small voice. Understand that, that, that internal guidance it's for your benefit and, and to lean into it and to not discount it just because everyone's going in a different direction.
[00:12:40] And some of the people that were giving us their advice were very successful people, very educated people, very smart people. And sometimes that can be hard when you have someone who is, you know, someone that you respect and has high authority, and that they've already accomplished, maybe similar things that you want to accomplish, but maybe not in the way you did.
[00:13:04] When I was thinking about this, I was reminded of from a famous athlete named Wayne Gretzky. Who's the greatest hockey player of all time. And he said something, someone was asking like, you're surrounded by world-class hockey players. And yet you seem to outperform everyone at such a high level. Why is it that even though like you're around all these other amazing people that you seem to score.
[00:13:31] So, and anticipate things so much better. And he said most people will skate to where the puck is. I skate to where the puck is going. He anticipated where it was going. So. That's where you have to rely on your perceptions, your knowledge, your education, your life experiences, all the things that you've built up in your life and that person who's telling you, whatever they're telling you is coming from their own paradigm.
[00:14:00] They're not coming from your paradigm. They don't understand all the things that, you know, There are like, if someone could have known what I knew when they were standing on the other side of me in a conversation telling me you should do this and you should do that. And this is a bad idea. And this isn't a good idea.
[00:14:18] They have no idea what I've read, what I've studied, the references. I have all the examples of the people that I know from history that have accomplished great things in worse circumstances or whatever the thing is, or the hardships that I've been through. That person has no reference for that. So you can't take on what someone else is telling you as the gospel, no matter how successful they are, no matter how.
[00:14:42] Smart. They are no matter how many initials they have at the end, no matter, you know, no matter who they are, they aren't you and, you know, You know, I just talked about leaning in to intuition. That's another huge X-Factor like, when you just know you have that gut instinct, I mean, how many times have you had a gut instinct and you chose to disregard it and it comes back to bite you in the ass because you're like, oh, I knew that, but like everyone else was saying X.
[00:15:13] So I just went along with that herd mentality. And you realize, man, I should've listened to that internal GPS, but I love what you're saying. I mean, so this is one of those things where as unstoppable life designers, we have to be willing to blaze our own trail, to think outside the box, to get used to stepping outside and dancing outside of our comfort zone, being willing.
[00:15:43] Do things different, like, you know, apple, their whole motto is think different. Know that a lot of times, as you are designing your best life, what is your best life is not what someone else's best life is. And so being willing. To do things a little bit differently is normal, despite the criticisms. And you know, there's a famous quote from mark Twain.
[00:16:17] He said if criticism had any strength, the skunk would have been extinct years.
[00:16:26] That's awesome. Be willing to go against the grain. I mean, that's really, I think that's my takeaway for everyone from this episode is we just want to encourage you. We want to empower you. We want you to know that you're not alone. Make sure that you get yourself a great support system. This is why we love the unstoppable influence academy.
[00:16:52] We love our members of the unstoppable influence in our circle. This is why we host events can stoppable influence summit is coming up October 7th, eighth, and ninth. We love to create communities of people. Who are committed to designing their best life so that if you are in a group of people that are all drawing outside the box, they're all thinking differently.
[00:17:17] It can be really comforting for when those times when the people that are in your sphere of influence, like they don't get what you're doing, but don't let them discourage you. And I that's one of the things I've noticed when we go to like masterminds and events. If you're sitting around having dinner, the conversations are all about the possibilities and the future that you can, you know, what you're doing now.
[00:17:45] And also all the cool things. Are possible in the future. They're not focused on what was the bad news of the day. You know, these are people are not sitting around watching the news and wallowing and in the fear and everything. And so that's one of the, one of the great things about getting around positive like-minded hi, have I, people that are used to feeling the fear and doing it anyway, because I got to tell you, like, I mean, I want it.
[00:18:16] I know we keep kind of going back to fear, but I think that fear is a really intense motivator for people to just go along with the crowd. In fact, throughout history, we've seen where people in power employ fear too, as a method of control of people. And so we gotta be really careful and not allow fear to cause you to go against.
[00:18:44] What you feel in your heart is best for you? A fear that if you start a business that, you know, P it might fail, or that if you write that book that someone might criticize it, or if you go out and you try out for that speaking role, and then you might not get, don't allow fear to dictate what you do.
[00:19:05] What you're doing recognize that fear is. And I don't know who said this. You probably know who it is. It's false evidence appearing real. And so you gotta be really careful as you are designing your best life as you're going in into your day-to-day life, that you recognize the fear for what it is. And as we talked about in the previous episode, Learning how to bust through that fear barrier outside of your comfort zone, to the land of where all the miracles and the awesomeness happened.
[00:19:41] Absolutely. All right, everybody. Thanks for listening. See, next time. Thanks for listening to this episode of design your best life. If you're not subscribed already, be sure to do that right now. If you enjoyed this episode, we'd love it. If you could do us a quick favor and rate and review our podcasts.
[00:20:01] The platform know that we're doing something right, and people love our content. It would be a huge help. And we would be so grateful. Be sure to head over, to design your best life.com and pick up the clarity roadmap. The clarity roadmap will help you get the clarity and competence you need to take the next step to designing your best life.
[00:20:19] We look forward to you joining us next time on design your best life.